oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
id be glad to
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
