Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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