Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
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Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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