apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
