Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
