Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
