What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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