no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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