Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
