Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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