I wanna bring you to show and tell
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
