he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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