I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
