i just sent this text using only my big toe
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
