Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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