i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
