ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
