she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
