Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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