Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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