I bet he comes in French.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
