after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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