I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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