party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
