note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
