we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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