oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
