and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
