yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize