It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
