I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
