New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
