Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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