Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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