Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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