Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How does it feel to date your dad?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize