So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
