then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
