I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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