she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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