found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Randomize
