I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
