If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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