i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
