that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
