one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry about my life...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
