Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
why is half of my head shaved?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
