she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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