I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
