I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
