i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
