I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
