she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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