I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
