guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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