Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just forgot I was standing up.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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