So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
