just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
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He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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