I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
