I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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