either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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