I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize