Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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