I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize