I think I am morally bankrupt
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
