do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
