that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
